Mourning what hasn't happened

 Have you ever mourned what has not happened?

I am mounring something right now. 

In my mind, in my heart, something has died. It's over. I am mourning it. 

In the outside world, nothing has changed. In the hearts and minds of others, nothing has changed. 

In my world, it has happened. 

You know, how when you fall in love with someone you imagine a life together? And you feel the same soft, warm, fulfilling happiness? It's the same, but opposite. 

I've fallen out of love. And I'm imagning a life without. And it's rancid cold pointy empty kind of feeling. 

I'm mourning what hasn't happened. yet.